The Five Best Spells in Dungeons and Dragons –
Fifth Edition Players Handbook
You can trust me, I’m a Wizard for Aleydra’s sake!
As you may not know, because I rarely mention it – I’m a wizard. A very skilled and probably very drunk wizard. As once described in wanted posters across Vathis: “A serious threat to people of average intelligence”, I strike fear in many men’s hearts. So as I sit here, by a fire warm and mug that is full, let me tell you the five greatest spells ever penned in a wizards spellbook. *Fifth Edition Players Handbook*
Number 5 – Fly, You Fools!
When one absolutely, positively, must make it out of a 5th story window after a questionable evening, why not do it with style? Say a silent prayer to Aleydra and step into the absolute freedom of the spell Fly. There is no area out of reach, no place a wizard cannot go. Your ability to become death from above, coupled with the limitless options of fleeing a… potential crime scene, make this a must prepare, every single day.
Number 4 – Greater Invisibility
If anyone asks you, you never saw me here. That’s probably true, thanks to Greater Invisibility. Until you have had to catch a greased pig at a summer fair, you will never know the problem with catching a wizard with Greater Invisibility. No matter what happens to you today, there will be a time where invisibility would be great.
Like when your mother comes to visit and you really don’t want to hear how successful of a wizard your brother is. I know Ma, TRUST ME, I know.
Number 3 – Simulacrum
There comes a day, in every growing wizards life that having an emergency body double to replace you is crucial, especially when you need to fake your own death. If your true identity ever becomes known, getting out of town is much easier when people try to kill your perfect body double. It works for Kings, why can’t it work for wizards? No matter what they say about me – that apple pie was like that when I found it.
Number 2 – Time Stop
I am going to speak slowly, so you understand, as time is a very wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey subject. Removing oneself from the time-space means you must be traversing in the fifth dimension. When the… space stuff gets… umm… stretched into a folded… You know what, you don’t have to get it. You just have to know how to do it. If you see the city guard storming into the underground gambling den where you are “gathering information”, pop out this little baby and you have plenty of time to grab your “winnings”, finish your drink and bow out gracefully, before the chips hit the floor. Invaluable.
Number 1 – Prestidigitation
This spell is the most powerful tool in a wizards arsenal. Unlimited uses, infinite possibilities. The practical uses are so numerous I couldn’t possibly list them all. Crossing borders in disguise, here are my perfectly doctored papers. Real-estate scams, inheritance cons, you name it. For a wizard with an agenda, life is just easier with Prestidigitation. Besides, if you don’t whisper “Magic!” with sparkles coming from your fingers, you really aren’t a wizard worth knowing.
Thanks for stopping by, I really do appreciate it. I know that you may not agree with me, and that’s fine, you’re allowed to be wrong. Regardless, please let me know in the comments if you have a better list.